


Everything You Want

by ookamijudge



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-17
Updated: 2014-02-17
Packaged: 2018-01-12 18:54:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1195797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ookamijudge/pseuds/ookamijudge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ginny has always loved Harry, but she can’t understand why he doesn’t love her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything You Want

**Somewhere there's speaking**  
 **It's already coming in**  
 **Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind**  
 **You never could get it**  
 **Unless you were fed it**  
 **Now you're here and you don't know why**

He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know why he had come here, why he kept coming here. Something had told him to come here, something in the back of his mind, but really he didn't know why he had listened to that voice. He stared at the door fighting with himself over weather to just lift his hand and knock or just leave.

**But under skinned knees and the skid marks**  
 **Past the places where you used to learn**  
 **You howl and listen**  
 **Listen and wait for the**  
 **Echoes of angels who won't return**

It was all over had been for some time, but still he couldn't bring himself to want to get close to anyone not even her. They went out places. Visited Hogwarts, Sirius's old house, even his parent's house all the places he had learned something. Something about magic, something about thinking, something about who he was, and who he had been. He longed still for there return: the return of his parents; the return of Sirius; the return of Dumbledore. They wouldn't ever return though and he knew it, knew it and felt it keenly because he saw it as his fault each and every one of them were gone. He didn't know if he could lose her too, it would be his fault he knew it would be, but he didn't know if he could stay away he had tried, but it never /quite/ worked.

**He's everything you want**  
 **He's everything you need**  
 **He's everything inside of you**  
 **That you wish you could be**  
 **He says all the right things**  
 **At exactly the right time**  
 **But he means nothing to you**  
 **And you don't know why**

She was sweet and kind. Always seemed to know exactly what he needed and just when he needed it. She was everything he could hope for in a girlfriend or wife even, but beyond the physical release he couldn't manage to find it in him to care for her. She meant nothing more to him then well sex and he really couldn't figure out why. He knew there had been more, he remembered that, but he couldn't seem to find it anymore.

**You're waiting for someone**  
 **To put you together**  
 **You're waiting for someone to push you away**  
 **There's always another wound to discover**  
 **There's always something more you wish he'd say**

He just didn't feel it anymore. That care he had for her, or the feelings for anyone else for that matter truly. He just didn't feel it and he kept coming back hoping she could make him remember. He felt like a broken glass that needed fixing and he kept coming back hoping she could fix him. She hadn't fixed him though and he was just waiting on her to tell him to shove off now. He knew it wasn't fair, but there was just always something missing. He couldn't say what it was, but it was just never there, there was just always something more he wanted her to say, wanted her to do. It was just another crack in the broken glass he was, another flaw, another wound in the person he used to be.

**He's everything you want**  
 **He's everything you need**  
 **He's everything inside of you**  
 **That you wish you could be**  
 **He says all the right things**  
 **At exactly the right time**  
 **But he means nothing to you**  
 **And you don't know why**

He hated it. Hated that she wasn't enough anymore. She had been, she was perfect for him, everything he wished he could be, knew he /should/ be as a 'hero' but it wasn't there. He didn't feel a thing for her and it ate away at him. She could forgive him for all the deaths. Said they weren't his fault even and it was another thing he wished he could do himself, forgive. Yet it just wasn't enough.

**But you'll just sit tight**  
 **And watch it unwind**  
 **It's only what you're asking for**  
 **And you'll be just fine**  
 **With all of your time**  
 **It's only what you're waiting for**

Yet he came back time after time. Hoping that it would all change. That if he just let his life pass him by and keep on as it had it would all turn out ok. He just wanted to be free of it all. He just wanted to be back to what he had been, before. He had time. Time to wait. Time to hope. Time for it to change. He just didn't know if it would.

**Out of the island**  
 **Into the highway**  
 **Past the places where you might have turned**  
 **You never did notice**  
 **But you still hide away**  
 **The anger of angels who won't return**

He knew there were other things he could do. Other people he could see. Other places he could go. He couldn't manage it though. Every time he tried that he ended up where there was nothing but lost memories and nothing but the anger at himself for the ones that were gone because of him.

**He's everything you want**  
 **He's everything you need**  
 **He's everything inside of you**  
 **That you wish you could be**  
 **He says all the right things**  
 **At exactly the right time**  
 **But he means nothing to you**  
 **And you don't know why**

He lifted his hand knocking, and stared at her when she opened the door. She was pretty. She was kind. She was sweet. She mothered him. She looked after him and made him feel better physically and mentally. In general being around her just made him feel better, but that was all there was. She didn't actually /mean/ anything to him. Somehow he just knew he could find someone else to take her place. Someone else with a nice face to look after him and help him when he needed it and he couldn't understand it.

**I am everything you want**  
 **I am everything you need**  
 **I am everything inside of you**  
 **That you wish you could be**  
 **I say all the right things**  
 **At exactly the right time**  
 **But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why**  
 **And I don't know why**  
 **Why**  
 **I don't know**

She took his hand leading him into the house pushing him into a chair. She knew what she was, or rather wasn't, to him. It hurt her as much as she knew it hurt him. Ginny smiled at him before finally speaking what they both knew. "Why do you come here Harry? I don't really mean a thing to you we both know it, so why?"

Harry stared at her for another long moment before shaking his head "I don't know."


End file.
